Krazy Jim's Bilmpy Burger--Forever #1

The Triple D road is long and winding, criss-crossing the country, moving from small--almost invisible towns--to the largest cities in America. This process will most likely be one that Ben and I will be pursuing for the rest of our lives (a fact we are not afraid to admit), so it may seem a bit premature to proclaim that we've found the place that will always be #1, but trust me when I say, I don't see it changing. It won't change because Blimpy's holds a special place in our world for multiple reasons, the main one being that it's where this whole crazy thing started. Flashback with me to the early months of 2008, the beginning of our final semester of college. We'd taken to watching Triple D a little bit more frequently than usual. Food Network used to simply be what we turned on at night, but with little regard for what we were actually watching, but somewhere along the way we become Triple D fans, and then one night it happened. We were watching a particularly yummy episode (Burgers, Rings, and Fries to be exact) and what we saw was the most incredibly, greasy, delicious looking burger shack we'd ever seen. Now if you haven't noticed by now, Ben and I are suckers for grease. I'll admit it, even if the woman in my head who controls keeping track of my Weight Watchers points wishes she could kill this part of my personality. We love greasy food. It's actually one of the things that we bonded over when we started dating--Ben loved that I wasn't afraid to finish a meal in front of him (little did he know the life he had ahead of him with me constantly intoning "but I'm on points" but I digress...) . Now as we're watching I realize (and say out loud) "That girl is wearing a Michigan shirt!" which was then followed by "OH MY GOD IS THIS PLACE IN ANN ARBOR!?!?" Cue immediate jumping off of the bed and cueing up Google as quickly as possible (God bless the internet) and there it was....Krazy Jim's Blimpy Burger S. Division St., Ann Arbor, MI. My beloved Ann Arbor. My favorite city in the world to hang out in was home to this burger mecca. "HOW HAVE I NOT HEARD OF THIS PLACE?!?!" I immediately made plans to seek this place out over Spring Break...and thus the Triple D adventure began.

Yes, I went to Blimpy's for the first time without Ben...I'm not proud of it, but hey you do what you gotta do for a good burger, and now over 2 years later, it is our most frequented Triple D spot. It's a go-to whenever we wander back to Michigan. It's like a cosmic pull on my car whenever I go to Ann Arbor...and it's just that good...trust me. It's true from the outside, hell from the inside, Blimpy's looks a bit odd. It's not creepy--it's not near as creepy as some places we've been, but it's tiny, it never ceases to be hot from the grill that is always going in, and it's always busy (expect a line people), and let's face it, it's a dive. It's not fancy, it's not designed for comfort or convenience, it's there to give you a good burger, fast. Blimpy's is not a place for the faint of heart. The cooks yell, they get frustrated, and you see your burger getting banged out on the grill in front of you--so if you're one of those people who can eat greasy foods as long as you don't have to see how greasy it really is, don't go, plain and simple. Here's what I would honestly advise...if you make the trek to Blimpy's use the buddy system, preferably with a Blimpy's veteran. If you don't know anyone in the good old A2, then watch the Triple D clip (it's on YouTube) and take notes, or check out their website and take notes. No I am not screwing with you. I'm being honest to God serious, take notes. The first time I walked into Blimpy's I had notes written on my hand on how to order, because honestly it's a strict process....

Blimpy's niche is sliders, you don't just order a burger (you have to be under the age of 7 to get a single patty burger no joke), you order a burger by the number of tiny patties you want on it, they'll go up us high as you want even though I think beyond 10 they might question your sanity. BUT again it's all part of a process so I'll walk you through the steps.

1.) Get a drink. It'll be the first thing you pass in line, so decide if you want a fountain pop or one of the umpteen bottled pops they have (I always go with IBC Cream Soda, Ben Stewart's Key Lime).
2.) Ask yourself: Am I eating here or getting it to go? I would advise eating there, unless you aren't travelling far. Travel too far with your burger and the grease becomes a bit of an issue when it comes to soggyness, I've done it once and it was my least favorite Blimpy's experience to date). IF AND ONLY IF you are eating THERE: Grab a tray. Getting it to go? DON'T TOUCH THE TRAYS. (You think I'm kidding about the rules? I'm not. Don't believe me? Try to screw with the process and see what happens)

3.) Do you want anything fried? They'll ask you if you want anything from the fryer. We loooooove their onion rings, they seriously take 3 days to make and they're friggin' amazing. But they also do all forms of veggies (mushrooms, zucchini, etc.) and of course fries, but we've only ever gotten the rings.

4.) Now it's time for your burger...PAY ATTENTION!!! You order the number of patties (double, triple, quad, quint, etc...), the type of bun you want (regular, onion, pumpernickel), and if you want anything grilled on it (bacon, onions, mushrooms, egg). DO NOT I repeat DO NOT talk about cheese at this point. I have seen many a poor soul get yelled at for ordering a bacon cheeseburger in line. They will ask you about your cheese before your burger is done...let them ask you.

5.) Cheese: like I said someone will ask you if you want cheese, just wait for the question.

6.) The guy at the end of the counter will ask you about other toppings: give him your wet ones first (mayo, ketchup, etc.) then the dry (lettuce, tomato, you get the picture).

Then you're good to go, but beware they only take cash!!! No credit cards here people! And expect to be handed your change in 50 cent pieces and $2 bills (again I'm not kidding). I know it seems complicated but it's worth it and after the first trip you'll be good to go and ordering will be as easy as riding a bike, just push through that first time. My ideal Blimpy's meal? IBC Cream Soda, onion rings, and a triple on a regular bun with bacon, grilled onions, cheddar cheese, ketchup, mayo, and lettuce. It's heavenly. If heaven is a big ball of grease in the sky that is. I've never deviated in my order...ever. Same thing every time. Ben has branched out...he's even gotten a quint--yes that's 5 sliders on a bun and yes he did finish it, it was nothing short of impressive. Don't plan on having a big dinner after you eat at Blimpy's, believe me when I say you won't need it. And one last thing, don't be intimidated by the process, don't be intimidated by the line. Because of the strict ordering, things move quickly, and they mean business so the line will dwindle fast, don't walk out because it's busy, you might never eat there if that's the case because it's always busy. If you are looking for a convenient time here's what I'd suggest: go in the summer. This place is a haunt for U of M students because it's in the middle of campus. If you go in the summer you cut down the number of people a ton. And again with a huge DO NOT!! go in the fall on a Saturday when the Wolverines have got a football game at home...it's a bad idea. So if it's a Saturday between September and November, check U of M's football schedule first, trust me. So is it hard to believe that after all rules that this place is our favorite? Maybe...but doesn't that tell you just how good the food is???

As usual here's the website, much more user friendly in the post-Triple D days...

http://www.blimpyburger.com/ (notice there's a tab on ordering...they are getting nicer believe me)